2026 July 26th Sunday
Man I should've slept on my thoughts for one more day.
Sorry for the horrible last post, I don't like to delete my stuff but I'm going to unlist the entry on my blog page. Pretty shameful and embarassing that last post was. I was stressed out and had my first semi-public episode, but hey it could've all been worse. I'm going to delist that post but I don't like to permantly delete stuff I do so it'll still exist, just going to take very slight effort to reach it if you want to read my unhinged rambling.
Either way I'm still going to give up on socializing for the forseeable future, I do know thats a big mistake but that was a major source of pain and stress that I'll try to tackle once I am more happier in other aspects of my life. That's going to bite my in the ass so badly in the future, but I'll just be right back to where I was if I kept trying to force it. Saying that I'm not built for socializing is untrue, it's a skill like anything else in life, but a skill that would take so much effort to try to work on that I cannot handle it right now. Still, I'm sorry I threw that golden opportunity away with that server I was invited to. No fault of a single person there, clearly I was in my head way too much and projecting my own ideas onto others, I'll try not to make that mistake again.
As for my other ventures that were causing me stress, I'm not going to make any more "plans" "goals" or "promises" anymore. The videos I'm working on are still going to come out, but I was severely unhappy with both of them, and trying to just edit and release them would've benefitted no one. So for like the 4th time now, I'm going to re-do the anime on the tv video and the monthly media thing. Shit is that a plan? Ah well, I guess it's fine now since I'm not giving any dates or anything.
I don't expect to ever be 100% happy with any video I make, but those videos really did start as something I was super happy with but over time I saw how bad I was at the scripting, voice recording, and even editing, that I became super frustrated with them. That's always a part of making videos but I was too annoyed with them. Gonna get more reps in so that my stuff will be fun not only for me, but hopefully for others who take the time out of their day to watch it.
I'm a weak person and the stress of all of that got to me so i'm to use this time to relax and grow my brain. Going to work my job, watch anime, play games, read visual novels, read books, listen to music, watch movies, just going to level up my trivia stat. It's been really fun and worthwhile to go through a lot of works again, and hey, i'm getting the fun feeling of wanting to talk about this sort of things with others again. That was the whole purpose of my channel after all.
So probably no more updates with this blog, at least for a while. Once I upload my first video this site will turn into basically my sources page. It's something I always planned for this site to be. It's not an impressive site in the slightest, I use the very good and pretty looking premade Sadgirl layout, thank you for that! At least I think it's Sadgirl's layout. So one more revamp to the homepage, and adding one more page for each video's sources and further reading. And then that will be this site's purpose. Unless I think of something fun.
So with all of that, this is the last post for a while. I'm going to give up on socializing for a while since that's a major source of my stress and anxiety. I'm going to slowly work on videos that make me actually happy. And i'm going to... not make any more promises! Thanks for reading, sorry to anyone who has reached out to me, and here's something a bit unique for my media end post. Atomic Island's good video playlist I love this last part of the blog, I like showing off stuff I like with others so, with my blog in hiatus that would mean the death of that, but if I make a playlist I can always add stuff to it without having to make new blogs. So here it is, some of my favorite videos ever uploaded on Youtube. Scroll through and find something that catches your interest, and save it to your own playlis- nah you don't have to do that. But these are very good videos though, give them a shot if your at work or doing something on the side. Thanks for reading, i'm going to take care of myself so, watch something you like, play games, read books. I don't think that's a bad way to spend your time at all.